I get so scared when I think about the future.
I have no idea what I want to be doing with my life. Media? Psychology? Just like. I am so lost. I used to want to be a hairdresser but I dont know. Im not very good at small talk with people. I guess I just don’t care for what they’re saying. A huge part of me wants to be a writer, but I know I’m not good enough. So I think about reporting… but I’m not good enough for that either. And I just think, 20 years from now, will I still be this lost? I don’t want to fade into the background. I want to make something of my life. I want to leave my mark in the world.
But how can I be the best I can be when everyones leaving me? My mum is moving away. And my sister might be moving abroad. And the only guy I’ve ever truly loved is moving to America. And I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do on my own. People tell me it’ll be good… it’ll be ‘character building’. But I have a feeling its gonna be character destroying. I don’t wanna be alone. I’m so scared.
Sometimes you’re all I can think about.